Lightandfire, Your vulnerability really affected me. You may get used again, abused again, but God is in you, and though they may kill you, they cannot take your spirit. What is it to lose face, possessions, position, respect? If you have God, you have everything. The persons who said you were damned haved damned themselves by this pronouncement, for only God can judge. We have to be gentle with ourselves, not condeming, only surrendering every second of every day. This is when He carries us. If you are able, maybe you could go and sit silently in a catholic church and wait on God for an hour or so. Just to feel His precence wrap you in its love.