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ru4jesus

step 4

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I need help working Step 4.. How do I accomplish this step... Help... I need help working the steps in general... victoria

 

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I found it really helpful to use the questions on 12Step.org. I began with Step Four questions about childhood and moved up to other ones, and it was great to jog my memory and help keep me on track. God bless you in your quest to do Step Four!

-- HealingThroughChrist

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I just put Step 4 into Google and I got some great stuff up. The AA stuff is always good as they have been doing this for some time. I started by looking at my resentments and fears and somehow loads of ideas came from that. Ask other people as well, sometimes others can see what you can't. And don't just look for the bad stuff, you need to know your good points too. My sponsor asked me to think of three attributes and it took me a few days of serious thinking to do that without saying 'BUT'.

 

Be aware though, it is going to get painful, just writing this junk down tears me to bits. But think how good it will feel when you know your Higher power is going to sort these defects of character for you. Hope it goes well for you, this is a really important step. Cara

-- cara

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I am now "working" step 4 myself. The first thing I did was act on my decison to do it. Then I finally asked for help in getting a sponsor.

 

I began free writing things that about my character flaws, with no real format or anything. One thing my sponsor told me that helped out is that God already knows what is on the paper. My job was to just uncover what it said. I also found that the book Hunger for Healing had a great section on Step 4 and preparing for step 4. This is helping me to work through it and not feel overwhelmed.

-- cgktexas

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a sponsor is someone who can "translate" what each step means to them and they either talk with you or give you writing to do, so you "emotionally/spiritually" understand the step. i highly suggest getting a sponsor to take you through all of the steps.

-- theiinme

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When I think of a resentment of fear I say it into my cell "voice memo" so i don't forget it. Then I write it down.

-- ski4ever

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I need help working Step 4.. How do I accomplish this step... Help... I need help working the steps in general... victoria

I showed my sponsor some pdf files to help with the 4th step I got from hazeldon's website, he calls that stuff "suicide sheets", he's quiant.

 

What amazed me was how clear the directions in the Big Book are, I had been trying to self sponsor and was hopelessly lost and confused by those clear directions. The directions say Make a list of resentments, going back over your life.

 

Theres nothing else required until that list is done, a few hrs at the most.

 

I also learned procrastination is defiance, which makes step 3 a lie, so I had to get down to it and then (finally) it took no time.

 

I had been jumping around in the directions, looking for a shortcut to see the answer . So a guide in the form of a sponsor was invaluable, it was like driving around the freeways of LA without a map and claiming the roads don't make sense. I did plenty of that.

-- jonesg

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I started out by praying for help and guidance. Then i made a list of all the people places and things that pissed me off. I started with my earlest memories and progressed forward. After i had my list, i put an asterix by the names that i had multiple resentments. then i prayed for strenth and guidance and began writing about the first person with an asterix by their name. I did it exacly like the big book lays it out. follow through with the direction of how to do the fourth column. there is amazing freedom in the fourth column!!! Get or talk to a sponser who has done it!! love ya.

-- akin4ualso

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